Self-Confidence

I may not be perfect, but parts of me are pretty awesome!

Hana’s last post was a pretty personal post highlighting her past difficulties and how this year she is going to focus on being her, not caring about what people think. Now I think Hana is awesome and honestly, she has a heart of gold and is an incredible person and her post reminded me of the quote above, “I may not be perfect, but parts of me are awesome!”

If I am honest, I don’t really think the person I was two years ago would ever agree with that saying as I went through a party hard time with time with self-confidence issues. I don’t know about you but I found societies views very conflicting as one minute I was being told to ‘fit in’ and the next minute I was being told to ‘stand out and be myself’. I never felt like I was good enough (as a person) or that I looked great! I had major self-confidence issues. I remember coming home from school and the first thing I would do was look at myself in the mirror and pick out my insecurities. It was so strange because I had a great school life and was never bullied or teased for the way I look but for some reason I felt insecure.

I am not trying to sound big headed, I am just telling you my story, but I used to be one of those girls that was quite good at talking to guys – I guess growing up with two brothers helped in that department. I was always relatively confident and seemed to attract the attention of quite a few boys. My friends would make remarks like ‘How come the boys like you’ or ‘Everyone always fancies you’ and ‘You are so pretty of course the boys want you’. Although at the time it was like okay … boys … like me … what do I do … and although my friends were always telling me it was a good thing that I was liked, I just was never confident in myself. I never accepted myself for the way I was and instead only saw the imperfections!
I feel like there is a lot of confusion about self-confidence and what it actually is. The definition for self-confidence is ‘a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgement’. For me, having self-confidence issues wasn’t based on attracting a potential relationship partner or wanting to look good for other people. It is based around how I feel about myself. It is about self-acceptance. I used to believe (and sometimes still do) that if I changed how I looked, I would like myself better or feel more confident.

Nothing holds you back more than your insecurities

There is a quote that says ‘Nothing holds you back more than your insecurities’ which I believe is quite true. Whether its due to your appearance or maybe its something your not particularly good at, our insecurities hold us back from reaching our dreams and goals. It stops us from living our life as ourselves and instead drives us to this reality where we believe we have to be like someone else. I struggled with this for quite a while. My lack in self-confidence led to me struggling with my faith and having some low moments. I also spent a lot of this time being really judgemental and always looking at other peoples legs and comparing them to mine. For me, my biggest insecurity was and still is my legs.

It wasn’t until I opened up to my mates and got help from them and my boyfriend, that I realised I don’t need to change my appearance as the person I am now is loved by these people. I became more content in myself realising that actually I do have some pretty awesome traits. I also started to realise that what is on the inside is a lot more powerful than the outside even though society might tell us something different. I believe that what is on the inside shines through on the outside, you just might not see it at first. After changing my mentality and confiding in friends, I began to build my faith back up. I began to pray that God would help me to be content in myself and open my eyes to the wonderful world he has created and the wonderful people he has intricately designed to put on it.

A flower does not think about competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms.

This quote is one of my favourites. We shouldn’t have to be worried about what other people think of us. Low self-confidence sucks I know that! But thankfully with a little help we can start to build ourselves up again! In order to be self-confident you don’t have to love yourself, you just have to be content and realise that even amongst the thorns a beautiful rose blossoms and the thorns are forgotten. We all have thorns, we are all insecure but at the end of the day it’s the rose, the beauty that people see! We all have beauty, we just have to start realising it!

However, I am sorry to say but there will always be people who will put you down, not like you or want you to change – that is just life! There is no perfect human, each person has insecurities (even models) but these insecurities make us who we are. They make us different, they make us beautiful (ironically) and they make us bloom amongst the field of different flowers. Don’t worry about what other people think. Just be you and own it because no one is like you and I am sure when you start believing in yourself and feeling content with yourself, your life will be a lot easier and less time will be spent judging.

You were born to be real. Not to be perfect.

So today, I sit here writing this post still with self-confidence issues. I do not love myself, but I do not hate myself either. I am content with who I am and agree I do have imperfections but so does everyone else. Without my imperfections I wouldn’t be me! I also know my self-confidence issues won’t go away but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy life and be content with myself, it just means that I have be strong and fall back on my friends and God to get me through!

I know that self-confidence is a big issue and can appear in so many different forms but let me tell you something, you will be okay! Even if you may not realise it, there are always going to be people in your life who are going to be there for you and help you through the bad times. That’s how I made it to where I am today because of the people I surrounded myself with. So be strong and hold on to this quote ‘You were born to be real. Not to be perfect’.

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6 Comments

  1. areadingcat
    January 25, 2018 / 09:06

    very important topic. thank you so much for speaking up about this… it takes time to get to a place where you’re just ok, just accept/starting to accept everything you are. x

    • February 25, 2018 / 22:11

      Thank you! Yes it takes time and continues to take time but better than nothing xx

  2. February 17, 2018 / 19:35

    What wonderful quotes. I really loved reading this. I’m currently really, really struggling with my self-confidence. I hate the way I look and all I want to do is keep to myself… This post had really helped remind me that I am real and awesome. So thank you for a great blog post Jenny!
    Tabitha x
    http://www.whattabithaloves.co.uk/

    • February 17, 2018 / 20:11

      Hey Tabitha, your comment has literally made my day Hun! I know how hard it is to struggle with self confidence. I still have some bad days where I’m not happy with myself but love you are YOU! And no one else is like you. We need Tabitha, we need you in the world and the people around you will agree with me 🙂 You are gorgeous and God loves you loads Hun! I’m always here if you wanna chat xx

  3. February 18, 2018 / 06:22

    This is such a great post. I feel like people need to be in a healthy middle, to be accepting of their flaws and also being proud of their strengths. There’s far too many people who think they’re absolutely perfect and a much more alarming number of people who think they aren’t worth much.
    Kanra Khan
    twitter || instagram || facebook

    • February 18, 2018 / 08:52

      Thank you Kanra, yeh it’s so true it’s just finding a healthy middle and being accepting of you flaws but acknowledging your awesome and beautifully wonderful parts. Thank you

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